A Heavy-Handed Ode to the Clitoris

July 14, 2015 § 2 Comments

ode to clitoris aliza worthington

Puns and a limerick to celebrate a special week. Please enjoy!

Today, I’m so sad to see Clitoris Awareness Week COME to an end. But I’ve decided to show my reverence by trying my HAND at some poetry. Yes, I’m doing some of my CHEEKIEST work as I help people peek under the HOOD of this magical organ. Rather than simply pay it LIP service, I felt poetry would help me go DEEP into the subject matter. I chose limerick form, because, of course, it begins with “L” “I” and ends with “C” “K.” Not to brag, but one friend called me a “cliterary genius” while another said I was a “cunning linguist.” Enjoy.

But grab a tissue. It will be touching.

Ode to the Clitoris

by Aliza Worthington
B.A. and M.A. from Johns Hopkins University 1990

There once was a girl from the city
Who needed to write something witty.
She wracked her tired brain
For something germane
And came up with something quite clitty.

Apparently we lack awareness
Of female sex organs – UNFAIRNESS!
But at this fine hour,
We now know the power
That lurks beneath our underwear-ness.

The clitoris is like the penis.
It’s true, despite it’s outward wee-ness.
It’s eight inches long,
(That’s more than a dong!)
But most of it’s inside your she-ness.

This organ has eight THOUSAND small nerves!
So, careful when tasting the hors d-oeuvres…
Ensuring your friend
A real happy end.
Please show it the respect it deserves.

We don’t know if it’s reproductive.
But here’s some advice that’s constructive:
For problems spousal,
Work on arousal.
The clit’s good for feeling seductive!

So, celebrate dildo and fingers,
Monogamists, Singles or Swingers!
The clit’s center-stage
No matter your age!
(Hats off to all you cunnalingers…)

* Though Clitoris Awareness Week is meant to be light-hearted in tone, it originated with a group’s very serious purpose – helping female victims of genital mutilation. Click here to learn about Clitoraid.

**This poem was a winner of a 2015 BlogHer Voice of the Year Award.


§ 2 Responses to A Heavy-Handed Ode to the Clitoris

  • Reblogged this on Red Said What? and commented:
    Guest bloggers put it out there:

    THE WORTHINGTON POST SAID WHAT?…A Heavy-Handed Ode to the Clitoris

    The BlogHer 2015 Voice of the Year Award reception is being held at their conference in New York City this weekend. Aliza Worthington, myself, and 98 other people are lucky enough to be attending as honorees.

    While Aliza’s winning piece is hilarious, it is important to note that she published it during National Clitoris Awareness Week. The week was created by the organization, Clitoraid which helps victims of female genital mutilation.

  • Marcy says:

    A limerick–of course! This is a very funny way to call attention to the serious issue. Congratulations on your VOTY! I would have liked to connect with you during the Voices of the Year Reception. My husband saw the blown up poster of your piece, and it really got his attention!

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